Sessi. Dancing Corners

Tag: selfcare

  • Love Is Where You Pour It.

    Some people say Valentine’s Day is just a Hallmark holiday. Others go all out for their significant other. And single people? We usually fall somewhere between pouring back into ourselves or spending time with friends. Or honestly treating it like any other day. And all of that is valid.

    In my mid 20s, I started pouring into myself. I’d write love letters to myself, pour some champagne, run a bubble bath, and even do a little DIY photoshoot to end my self love day. It sounds simple, but it made me feel really good about myself not just that day, but for weeks after.

    In my early 30s, Valentine’s Day started to look different. I leaned into Galentine’s Day with my friends and coworkers drinks flowing, games playing, matching PJs, lots of laughing, and of course pictures at the end. And really good food. I can’t forget the food.

    That phase taught me the importance of community watering friendships, loving your people, and appreciating them while you have them. Life is too short not to.

    I’ve never actually done Valentine’s Day with a man yet. And honestly? That’s because I know myself. When I love, I love fully. I would make sure he felt appreciated, seen, and deeply loved. In the past, I’ve invested in men physically, emotionally, and spiritually that’s just how I show up in this thing called life. I’m extremely picky about who I let into my world and I should be. We get one life. One chance to do it right, to grow, to experience the good, the bad, and the ugly with someone who’s worth it.

    What I’m really saying is this:

    You can pour into yourself.

    You can spend the day with friends.

    You can pretend the holiday doesn’t exist.

    It’s your life.

    You get to decide how you love yourself, your people, and one day, maybe a partner too. Spread love where it feels real. Pour into what pours back into you.

    Happy Love Day. 💘

  • Breakdown to a Breakthrough

    Breakdown to a Breakthrough

    On February 17, 2017, I had a bad anxiety episode you know, the kind where you can’t eat, can’t sleep, and feel completely trapped in your own head. I needed to get out of the apartment.

    At the time, my uncle Carlos was my escape. We used to make time to see each other sometimes Wednesday into Thursday and head into the city. He was my go to. Funny, grounded, a great listener. Our time together always centered me.

    That night, after work, I headed to New York City to see him. We talked in his apartment before walking over to Playa Betty’s to meet up with his best friend Dom. The three of us sat over chips, dip, and pitchers of sangria, just talking about everything life, love, work, the usual chaos. The energy was good. The laughter was loud. And in the middle of it all, I got some advice that stuck.

    Eventually, my uncle had to head home, and I was left alone in his apartment. That’s when it started the spiral. The overthinking crept in. The apartment was dark, and I couldn’t stop tossing and turning. My mind wouldn’t shut off.

    Panic mode hit. I tried calming myself by running water in the bathroom and holding my hands under it that usually helps. Not this time. I started texting friends and family, but only the ones I felt safe reaching out to. Then, full panic took over and I did what panic does I called Mount Sinai Hospital thinking maybe they could talk me through it. (Spoiler: they couldn’t. It doesn’t work like that.)

    Eventually, I passed out from exhaustion.

    When morning came, I left his apartment and made my way to Central Park. I didn’t care that it was freezing. I had Wildheart by Miguel playing from start to finish in my headphones. There’s this hidden spot in the park where you can see two tall buildings across the water. I found it. I took it in. Of course, I took a picture if you know me, you know I never let a view like that go undocumented. It felt rare. Sacred. Especially in the dead of winter.

    Then I started walking from Central Park to 42nd Street with music still in one ear (because obviously, one headphone stays out. Gotta be aware). Songs like What’s Normal Anyway, Leaves, Face the Sun ft. Lenny Kravitz, Destinado a Morir, and Damned carried me forward.

    And somewhere along that walk, I had an epiphany. I was coming home to myself.

    Not all at once, but slowly. Gently. In my own time.

    Years later, I can say this: I don’t just feel like I’m surviving anymore. I feel alive. I take in the little moments. I stay present. I’m forever grateful for the people in my life who held space for me and for the version of me who kept going even when she didn’t know how.

    As a fellow overthinker, and someone who used to try to control everything… guess what? You can’t.

    But the best feeling is when you finally stop trying to escape yourself… and you come home.

    Your breakdown will lead to your breakthrough.

    And that, my love, is where the beauty begins