Tag: healingjourney

  • The View Was Worth the Detour

    The View Was Worth the Detour

    I booked The Edge with my friend because I wanted to see everything New York had to offer from way up high. And honestly? The view was amazing.

    But let me rewind to how we even got to that moment.

    On Saturday, I had to work my usual Saturday shift, but I got to work with my brother, which always makes the day more fun. After work, we went home for a bit before heading out to meet my cousin and her boyfriend. They balance each other very well very cute together and it was nice getting to spend a little time with family before the city adventure officially began.

    Then came the rain.

    And New York has a full blown love affair with rain. I swear I am always there when it’s raining. There’s this saying about “rain writes stories sun could never tell,” and that stuck with me as I stepped into my new decade and made my way through the city.

    I took the walk to my friend’s apartment while it was still raining, slightly lost in the process, but somehow enjoying it anyway. There’s something about New York in the rain that feels chaotic, cinematic, and weirdly comforting all at once.

    Finally, I made it to my friend’s apartment after Google Maps decided to send me on a little detour before actually letting me arrive. Classic. We grabbed soup dumplings and fried rice at Nan Xiang, which is one of my favorite spots in New York.

    Because nothing says “rainy city adventure” like getting a little lost, finding your people, and rewarding yourself with dumplings.

    Saturday was the detour. Sunday was the view

    The next day was when the real Edge adventure happened.

    On Sunday, we went to Starbucks Reserve before heading to The Edge. And let me just say: espresso martini flights? A dangerous little blessing. We tried different flavors from ube to matcha, the original, and more and it felt like the perfect pre adventure stop.

    We sat, sipped, laughed, and had one of those good conversations about life that makes you realize how much you needed the moment. Sometimes the best part of a day isn’t even the big plan itself, but the little pockets of honesty and connection before you get there.

    After Starbucks Reserve, we headed to The Edge to finally take in the scenery. Seeing New York from that high up was unreal. The city looked endless buildings, lights, movement, stories everywhere. We took pictures, talked to some of the people who worked there, and just let ourselves enjoy being tourists for a little while.

    And honestly? Sometimes that’s the best way to experience New York with a friend, a loose plan, a little caffeine, a little chaos, and a view that reminds you how big life can still feel.

    After that, we headed home, tired but happy, with pictures, memories, and another New York story added to the collection.

    Maybe that’s what I loved most about the weekend. It reminded me that even when the plan shifts, the rain starts, or the map takes you the long way, there can still be something beautiful waiting at the top

  • Lost & Found on the Concrete Playground

    Lost & Found on the Concrete Playground

    The Version of Me in NYC đź—˝

    2017-2019: Chaos in Heels

    Steam curled up from subway grates as I power-walked Broadway in rain-soaked stilettos crying, under eating, sleepless, yet still nailing every lecture, two internships, and endless dance classes. Friends saw a grin; Mom and my brother saw the cracks. It was heartbreak + feeling “behind” + “not good enough” the full quarter-life cocktail.

    Dorm-Room Floor Confessions

    Alone in my tiny single, I’d face-plant on cold tile, sob, then yank myself up for heel workshops with Ksyn, The Dollhouse, Aisha Francis all queens who slowly reignited my spark and reminded me my body could still live inside the music.

    Walk, Breathe, Repeat

    I skipped the subway, clocking miles instead earbuds pumping therapy playlists. When panic spiked, I’d duck into a bathroom, plunge my hands under icy water, inhale four counts, exhale four counts, and keep it moving. That trick saved more nights than I can count.

    The Night Tank DMed

    One evening, fresh off work, I caught Tank’s Sex, Love & Pain II tour at BB King’s. He joked about me filming (“Sis, you making a bootleg?”), then slid into my Instagram DMs after the show “ All love, just playing.” Serotonin unlocked.

    Dating While Unhinged

    Funny truth: rock-bottom energy is apparently magnetic. My DMs overflowed, dates lined up like taxis at Penn Station. Healed me gets crickets; chaotic me got invites. Therapy sessions became weekly deep dives into self-worth, love, and why attention ≠ affection. Wednesdays blurred into late-night hangs with Uncle Carlos Tommy’s crew life advice served with greasy diner fries.

    The Quiet Turning Point

    Between 6 AM lifts, heel bruises, and those frost-breath city walks, I stacked accomplishments I was too anxious to celebrate. Only later did I realize NYC had held both my breakdown and my breakthrough.

    2026: Same City, New Nervous System

    Anxiety? Basically ghosted thank you, weekly therapy, journaling, lifting, dance, and miles of fresh air. My blog the dusty side project from eight years ago is now a thriving home for intentional stories on healing from anxiety and creative purpose. Mind, spirit, body: healthier than ever, and the goals keep stacking.

    I’m living proof you can chase a dream, shatter, glue yourself back together, and still hit publish glitter everywhere, stilettos on.

    Call to Heart

    đź’Ś Share this with your favorite mess in progress

    Because if you’re knee-deep in your own concrete jungle spiral, remember: the cold water resets, the midnight walks, and the sweat-drenched studio lights are carving the stronger version of you right now. Keep breathing. You’re not lost you’re under construction.

  • What Cherry Blossoms Taught Me About Life

    What Cherry Blossoms Taught Me About Life

    I’ve loved cherry blossoms for as long as I can remember but I didn’t realize why until life got hard.

    Since I was 18, and even into my mid 20s, I’ve always had a thing for cherry blossoms.

    To me, they represent beauty, new beginnings, and the importance of living in the present moment. Their bloom is short and sweet, and maybe that’s what makes them so special. They remind me that life is fleeting, and that there’s something sacred about appreciating what’s in front of you while it’s here.

    Even though I don’t always get to see them in person as much as I’d like, when I do whether I’m on a run, out for a walk, or just passing by I really take them in.

    Because before you know it, they’re gone.

    And honestly? I think that’s part of why I love them so much.

    There’s something about seeing cherry blossoms when life feels heavy that just does something to you. When you’re spiraling, doubting yourself, or feeling like you’re not enough… and then you look up and see those soft pink blooms, it feels like a little glimpse of hope staring back at you.

    Like life is quietly saying:

    You’re going to be okay.

    There was a point in my life where I really needed that reminder.

    I was spiraling.

    I wasn’t feeling good enough.

    I felt like no one was willing to take a chance on me.

    And on top of that, life just kept piling on.

    I was grinding through so much and carrying it quietly because I didn’t want to burden my family or friends. So instead, I found little ways to pour back into myself. I went to New York. I took dance classes. I walked through parks. I found small moments that made me feel grounded again.

    And oh boy… did it work.

    It gave me confidence.

    A new perspective.

    A little spark in me that I thought I had lost.

    Just like cherry blossoms symbolize, I had to shed a little of myself to come back to life. Not lose who I was just let go of what was weighing me down so I could find my way back to me.

    Now, whenever I see cherry blossoms, I don’t just see something beautiful.

    I see hope.

    I see growth.

    I see perspective.

    I see a reminder that life can still surprise you in soft ways.

    And every single year, they bring me back to something I always say to myself and to anyone I end up talking to about life:

    Every year is an upgrade.

    Because you are not the same person you were last year.

    You are who you are in this moment.

    And that version of you matters too.

    So appreciate the moment.

    Take it in.

    Let yourself bloom while you’re here.

    Just like the cherry blossoms

  • Breakdown to a Breakthrough

    Breakdown to a Breakthrough

    On February 17, 2017, I had a bad anxiety episode you know, the kind where you can’t eat, can’t sleep, and feel completely trapped in your own head. I needed to get out of the apartment.

    At the time, my uncle Carlos was my escape. We used to make time to see each other sometimes Wednesday into Thursday and head into the city. He was my go to. Funny, grounded, a great listener. Our time together always centered me.

    That night, after work, I headed to New York City to see him. We talked in his apartment before walking over to Playa Betty’s to meet up with his best friend Dom. The three of us sat over chips, dip, and pitchers of sangria, just talking about everything life, love, work, the usual chaos. The energy was good. The laughter was loud. And in the middle of it all, I got some advice that stuck.

    Eventually, my uncle had to head home, and I was left alone in his apartment. That’s when it started the spiral. The overthinking crept in. The apartment was dark, and I couldn’t stop tossing and turning. My mind wouldn’t shut off.

    Panic mode hit. I tried calming myself by running water in the bathroom and holding my hands under it that usually helps. Not this time. I started texting friends and family, but only the ones I felt safe reaching out to. Then, full panic took over and I did what panic does I called Mount Sinai Hospital thinking maybe they could talk me through it. (Spoiler: they couldn’t. It doesn’t work like that.)

    Eventually, I passed out from exhaustion.

    When morning came, I left his apartment and made my way to Central Park. I didn’t care that it was freezing. I had Wildheart by Miguel playing from start to finish in my headphones. There’s this hidden spot in the park where you can see two tall buildings across the water. I found it. I took it in. Of course, I took a picture if you know me, you know I never let a view like that go undocumented. It felt rare. Sacred. Especially in the dead of winter.

    Then I started walking from Central Park to 42nd Street with music still in one ear (because obviously, one headphone stays out. Gotta be aware). Songs like What’s Normal Anyway, Leaves, Face the Sun ft. Lenny Kravitz, Destinado a Morir, and Damned carried me forward.

    And somewhere along that walk, I had an epiphany. I was coming home to myself.

    Not all at once, but slowly. Gently. In my own time.

    Years later, I can say this: I don’t just feel like I’m surviving anymore. I feel alive. I take in the little moments. I stay present. I’m forever grateful for the people in my life who held space for me and for the version of me who kept going even when she didn’t know how.

    As a fellow overthinker, and someone who used to try to control everything… guess what? You can’t.

    But the best feeling is when you finally stop trying to escape yourself… and you come home.

    Your breakdown will lead to your breakthrough.

    And that, my love, is where the beauty begins